Marriage rights
by Ayatollah Mohammed Hussein Al-Ansari
The response will be as a general answer, because the detailed response directly to these questions, without introductions and understanding of the idea of the Islamic religion (about the establishment of the society that is based on the creation of the person) may create some misunderstanding. The ‘family’ is the essential body in society. In our school of thought especially the Ja’fari Shia sect, the woman is free and equal to man in all of her rights and duties in everything in this life and the hereafter. If there was any dissimilarity, it is because of the biological difference and the internal formation of the male and female, as there has to be concentration on this matter for constructing an independent personality for both woman and man.
Based on the natural laws of creation, as all know, there are many dissimilarities between male and female. Based on that concept the fundamental construction of the Islamic society has been built. She has the absolute freedom in any man that she wants. No one has the right to force her to marry any person she does not approve of.
The father has a right to know the person that she wants to marry and he can choose to not approve of him. The marriage of a women in fact will be completed by the approval of the women herself and her father. If one of them did not agree, the marriage cannot proceed. If the father (this rarely happens) was not fit to decide about his daughter’s marriage, or he hated her, then she can proceed with the marriage regardless of his approval.
If she chooses her husband with complete acceptance and absolute freedom than no one can ever interfere with it. Moreover, if she was forced to marry then the marriage is not valid. If she decided and chose her husband then the marriage contract will be established between them, then she does not have the choice of separation except if the husband did not fulfil his duties upon her and he did not follow the contract or he harmed her in any way. For example by physical punishment, then she can take her case to the religious jurist. That will give him two options to choose from; to live and treat her with goodness or divorce her with kindness. If he refused than the religious Jurist will divorce her and the husband cannot interfere or oppose in that ruling.
The woman has the right from the beginning (when the contract is formed) to put herself or any person she likes as a representative of the husband in her divorce, with any conditions that she chooses suitable for her situation, or any conditions she suspects may occur at a future point in time. If the contract is established based on her conditions and the conditions were breached, then the representative can divorce her even without the Husband’s acceptance. Moreover, she can make any condition that she observes as beneficial for her future, and accepted religiously. For example, she can make a condition that the Australian law should be followed in the divorce situation.
If the marriage is established:
The wife has the right over the husband for him to provide a suitable house for her that fits her status. He must also provide for her living and sustenance like food, clothes etc. She is able to ask him to provide and prepare the food for her on a daily basis.
Her duties towards her husband is that she does not leave his house without his permission. He can give her general permission to go out whenever she likes or wants, at the same time he has the right to refuse. She has a duty to allow him when he wants to be with her, anytime that he chooses to (however all of us know that the understanding and the agreement between the married couple is the best solution for every matter, but here we would like to mention the exact religious limits).
In Islam there is no dominant role for Man over Woman, but there are rights and duties between both of the genders, as the most important ones has been discussed. Yet probably the freedom of woman in Islam is more than in any of the other religions, whether heavenly religions or man-made ones. So no one has the right to tread on it or misuse it.
If she becomes a mother, she has the complete right over her children whether they are males or females. Moreover the child (male or female) after reaching his/her maturity age, has the independent right to make the decision to be with whom if the divorce occurred between parents. No one can force him/her in making the decision or prevent him/her from this right. So he/she has the absolute independence.
Islam has encouraged the establishment of family and made its formation as one of very preferred recommendations, and its destruction by divorce an extremely un-recommended and un-liked act.
The woman is completely independent in the financial perspective. The husband cannot interfere at all in the whole issue, just as he cannot interfere with the wealth of a stranger.
Her dowry that is given to her by the husband is her pure right, and no one has any right to interfere with it in any sense. She has the freedom of using her money absolutely as she desires. Yes, if she passed away, her wealth will be distributed based on the inheritance law in Islam. The area of inheritance has many conditions and sub-conditions which we will not go into here. She has a certain right in her husband’s wealth after his death or in her children’s wealth after their death. Similarly, her children have a right in her wealth after her death, based on the Islamic inheritance law.
If the husband divorced his wife, she has complete financial rights after her divorce until the certain period that is called “Idda”. It is compulsory upon the husband to pay all of her expenses during this period, and after that she will become a complete stranger to him. She has the right to choose a husband other than him and so on.
It is prohibited for a Muslim to revert from his or her religion, to another one. This is not because it is an arrogant religion but because the pure right of worship is to Allah (God), as seen by Muslim is contained in this religion only that the creator has liked to be worshiped with.
“Say: (It is) the truth from the Lord of you (all). Then whosoever will, let him believe, and whosoever will, let him disbelieve.” (Holy Quran Surah18: Ayah 29)